My interest in addiction and recovery stems from lived experience as an addicted heroin user. I used heroin on and off for nearly 20 years. I found temporary relief from use through various programs, medications systems of belief and psychological interventions. I stopped using at one stage for 4 years, but continued to use alcohol and other drugs. Always I found myself eventualy returning to heroin use. What I came to realise is that drugs and alcohol were always my solution to the inability to deal with the problems and issues life had presented me. As long as I continued to seek out that solution I could never be free of heroin. In order to remain free of heroin I had to avoid all drugs and alcohol. I eventually found another solution in the program and fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. I remain an active member of this fellowship. I also do extensive work with addicted heroin users who live on the streets. These are people who do not have access to expensive treatment centres or medication. They are despised and stigmatised, the black sheep of our society and the scapegoats for all that is wrong in the world. Drug users are widely condemned with little understanding of what leads to problematic drug use and addiction.
This study is dedicated to the memory of a boy I knew only by the name of Small. He lived on the streets of Scottburgh and used whoonga ( a cheap form of brown heroin that is usually smoked) from the age of 10. he was a beautiful soul who was always cheerful and smiling no matter how bad his personal circumstances. He always carried a bucket, washing cars and windows around town. Always ready and willing to work , he gave lie to the myth that all heroin addicts are habitual criminals. (You can read his story here.. davidonymous.blogspot.co.za/2016/05/mikes-story.html and here davidonymous.blogspot.co.za/2017/02/the-story-of-mike-latest.html ) I never, in the two years that I was his friend, knew him to steal or commit a crime other than that of smoking heroin, for the comfort it gave him. Yet he was an arch-manipulator, a master story teller and actor of note, always ready with an exaggerated tale of woe to tug at the strings of the heart and the purse of anyone who would listen. We put him into rehab-- he ran away. We got him medication and sent him home to his family, but the lure of the streets and the life of instant gratification was too strong. Nothing helped. Small eventually succumbed to TB in April 2017. He and others like him taught me gratitude for life and showed me that my own problems, my anger, my fear , my self-pity, which were always my reasons for using heroin were insignificant in the greater scheme of things. They also inspired me with a desire to help people like these, to find out more about what drives people to turn to drugs for their solution and what helps them to recover.
This study was initially inspired by the desire of trying to establish a recovery programme for people who wish to leave addicted heroin use but cannot afford the prohibitive cost involved in existing programs . I had intended to use this study to develop a model for a locally determined program informed by the life experiences of previously addicted users now in recovery. I have realised that this is an enormous undertaking , which may take years to reach fruition and one that is beyond the scope of this study. While this remains a personal goal what this study then intends to achieve is a more modest task of uncovering the common themes in the life stories of previously addicted heroin users: to discover what lead them to use and keep using heroin , and more importantly what factors were significant in helpingthem recover. Hopefully this information then can be taken up by others working in the field and ultimately assist in the formation of an inclusive treatment and recovery model that takes into account local conditions.
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