Tough Love and recovery

Although tough love worked for me and don’t think it is appropriate for guys on the street, and those that do not have resources to fall back on. I had to get to a point of suffering where I was ready to die rather than carry on using. I had to know nobody would help me as long I continued to use, that my only option would be life on the streets.

As a privileged white South African I had to learn about  pain and suffering, to realise the pain and suffering I was inflicting on others to be able to quit heroin. But life is very different for people on the streets. They know all about pain and suffering. I still had a mother who loved me in spite of it all. I had an education to fall back on. I had friends who were able to get me in to an expensive treatment centre even though I couldn’t afford it. Most of the people on the streets do not have these resources. What they need is not tough love but hope. It doesn’t help to say to the guy on the streets: “Go out and suffer some more, you are not ready.”  It doesnt have to get worse for them to get better, it already as bad as it can be. They are already living at rock bottom.  The next step is death. Most of them have already given up on life. They need compassion, to know people care, to feel that they are worthwhile human beings.

Contrary to popular opinion not all addicted people living on the streets are criminals. I have known a great many who work very hard to support their habits, collecting cans, pushing trolleys, washing cars. I have met some beautiful people who just need someone to give them a chance. I have known guys with incurable sores on the faces, walking around, alone dejected who just through a little friendship and love begin to heal and to blossom. Even those who are still using begin to make connections, care about their health, about themselves, start to believe they can have a better life without drugs. In my experience a person fresh off the streets is unlikely to walk into any fellowship rooms and ask for help. What does work is to take the message of hope to them, not just to tell them to come to meetings, but to spend time with them, teaching them what the fellowship, the steps, and  the message of hope are all about, to build them up, give him friendship, get them off the streets for a little while, so they begins to feel like  worthwhile human beings again. Connection not rock bottom, can, for the person on the street can the first point of entry into recovery.