Living Day- to- Day

Wow-what a day. As I have been sharing, I have been battling recently. I am living day to day as far as work and finances go. Today I had exhausted both and was on the verge of giving up. I have not been to find any work or job in two weeks. There is always one factor that rules me out. I don't have a licence, wrong gender, too old, don't have the right qualifications or experience, don't speak the right language, the wrong skin colour etc etc. Whatever ...there's always something. I was in serious self pity. Telling myself: I have not even managed to pay last months rent, and now the new months rent is due and the landlords going to kick me out.... I ate the last food in the house for breakfast this morning..what am I going to eat tonight....blah blah. The old familiar chorus of self-pity. Anyway I got to varsity and found I have three people contacting me wanting me to work. It might only bring in a couple of hundred rand, but it'll get me through the next few days, until the next job. And there always the chance it'll lead to more work, or a full-time job. Its quite amazing how this works. As long as I am getting up and showing up everyday, putting in the action, something always comes up. Sometimes only at the very last minute, when I'm on the verge of giving up, like today, but it always happens. I believe this is through having faith and practicing a program. I don't always feel it, but I practice it: by turning up, by going to meetings, through practicing the pillars of the program in my daily life, even when I'm feeling shit and don't want to, I do it. I don't have a choice really, the alternatives are to horrible to contemplate.

Don't give up before the miracle happens.